Should You Leave? A Psychiatrist Explores Intimacy and Autonomy — and the Nature of Advice

A writer who presents his vast knowledge of psychiatry with the art of a novelist, Peter D. Kramer imagines scenarios in which he addresses a series of advice- seekers. Each "session" not only reveals the various styles of giving advice - from Freudian psychoanalytic techniques to Ann Landers' application of conventional values - but probes the complexities of human relationships: How do we choose our partners? How well do we know them? How do mood states affect our assessment of them and theirs of us? When should we work to improve a relationship, and when should we walk away? What does "working on a relationship" entail? Kramer's questions lead to a reconsideration of our culture's norms - and to a suggestion that we may have begun to overvalue autonomy and assertiveness at the cost of intimacy and connectedness.